.Surviving.

Nearly 1 year since i started housemanship. Surviving.

Let's survive this shit together.

I would like to write more. I do. but i need to wake up early tomorrow to work. So i'll leave it here hanging. The urge to write is raising. I will someday.

.Romadhon tiba~ Romadhon tiba~.

We are on the last 10th days of Ramadhan Kareem.
That's all.
Thank you.

.officially graduated.

Yes! I am officially graduated!! 

I passed my final exam. I had my graduation ceremony end of last month. But i don't wanna be called doctor just yet. Cause it is such a burden to hold that title, 

Right now, i'm just sitting in my room in Egypt hoping that my batch's certificates finish soon. Yes, they are all back in Malaysia and i took their money to manage their certs and willingly stay in this country. I just want to go back right now and eat prosperity burger. It's Chinese New Year! Though i dont celebrate this event but still...........................my prosperity burger! I havent eaten u since 3 years! *pulls hair*

People are having their winter break so i don't have my sports' teammates to play around istad gamaah. I should have gone back already. aishh!

I'm outta here.

.eheh.

*peek*

*runs off to the corner*

Come on! A year and half not updating my blog wont hurt right? Nobody comes here though! Hahaha! This blog is mainly for my pleasure. I reread my posts and get this happy(?) or proud feeling of how "awesome" I tried to manage this blog. LOL. Basically, i skipped 2015 and now it's freaking 2016! I was just talking about how stressed i was about exams, being a medical student which to my surprised i kind of miss being one. Why? Cause i'm unofficially graduated from medical school!! 6 years and half, people!! So damn long XD. Havent got my result just yet for my final examination of my final year. I have this instinct that i'm going to pass this though! hahaha~

Am not going to blablabla on my years in Egypt but yeah, it was fun. Definitely going to miss lectures and food! And of course my friends. Thanks for staying beside me through thick and thin. I got too emotional this past few days and i'm not sure why. Crying whenever i feel like it which is sooo not me. Well, well, hormones got me i guess.

P/S: VIXX accompanied me during my study weeks for this final exam. Thanks for keeping me entertained when i was severely stressed.
P/S2: Volleyball accompanied me during my study weeks for this final exam. Thanks for keeping me fit and healthy when my brain was literally died due to knowledge overload. I'm surprised myself. Everybody was studying and i was busy playing in between my study. Volleyball is a part of my life, i really love it that i might marry to it for the rest of my life,

Me in red. Am not a libero though

.fifth year and still going.

Has it been a year already since i updated my blog? *search search* Well, nope. Last update was on July 1st, 2013. And today is June 11th, 2014.

You know, i'm on my study break right now, preparing for final exam this 19th June and onward. It was an hectic semester i tell ya. Obstetrics and Gynecology plus Paediatrics. Hah! i still stumble while spelling the O&G part. Like always, praying hard i pass this semester smoothly. i really dont wanna repeat considering i got good results last time. it would be........awkward? since the average results of last semester and this semester will be counted whether i need to repeat the whole year or not. Well, let's hope not.

Such a waste of time updating blog when i usually use this time to study. yeah yeah..blame the blog dont blame on yourself. people always do that. blame on others but not on themselves. irony much? when it is their own fault. human. ur human too dear sarah. Talking Writing about human let's sing a song by Christina Perri! Human!

But i'm only human
and I bleed when i fall down
I'm only human
and I crash and i break down

Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then i fall apart
Cause i'm only human....

.home at last?.

June, 20th 2013. I finished my last paper of final exam. I would have been better if i could stay there one or two days in Mansoura. But my sis insisted to go back Malaysia immediately on the same day. My OSCE examination was quite fun. Hahaha. If i ever told this to anyone they might exophthalmosly stared at me and making faces. Nobody like exams. Well, i WAS nervous before the exam~ Hopefully, i did well.

Malaysia at last! i wasn't that excited to go back actually. don't know why. maybe i was too attached to Egypt? Not really. *sigh*  I rode the same plane as this "person". There wasn't a time i didn't think of this "person" even we're at the same place. For 13 hours. Why this sadness overwhelmed me everytime? I sounded pathetic. I should move on.

Speechless.

For no reason.

Next time.

We meet again.

*bows*

Let it free. I will.

.May is ending. imma happy girl?.

Exactly month later (minus 2 days) i'm going back to Malaysia!! wuhuu! i'm excited because of fooooooodss actually. For the record, i always gain 3 to 5 kilos whenever i'm in Malaysia for my summer break. Well, it happened only after Raya. i was crazily watching over my weight during Ramadhan. Nasi pon secipuuut je makan. but frankly, i can't eat much during break-fasting cause i might vomit during terawikh.  Waah.. rindunya Ramadhan! >.<

May is ending in a week and i'm not dat happy. i have tons of revisions to do for my final. I have approximately 3weeks to cover everything in these rounds which are Surgery, Internal Medicine and UroNephro. Well well, wish me luck. No.. please pray for me. A lot better.

P/S: Will be going back this 20th June exactly after i finish my OSCE exam. isogashi isogashi!

.mad.

Spring is here!!~ But it feels like summer. Panas bahang semua ade. The thing about this spring-summer thingy, everybody wasn't in a good mood. Especially today. I, in other way, was in a VERY good mood. No nice or good things happen. Just by listening music while walking to class (jam tepat kol 9 baru kua rumah. lewat but still like to walk rather than taking a cab) can lifted up my mood. Well, of course it was hot and sunny and i was sweating like pig crazy. Thing was, even i was in a normal-almost-intoxicating-good mood, i got scolded multiple of time today. *sigh*

Finished the first lecture, a friend of mine told me she wanted to go back home because she was very stressed out that she cried in the lecture hall for no reason. I was like, ade jugak orang macam ni kat dunia ni. I thought it can only happen in drama. Poor her. Really. And she got my permission to go home.

For people who were close with me, they knew that i liked to annoy em with my jokes. So, sometimes they just let it go or counterattacked. But this friend, she was like, "HABIS KO NAK GADUH NGAN AKU LA?!!" SOOO LOUD that the whole class silenced, so was i. heard bebudak laki at the back asked among themselves who made her mad. and they whispered, "sarah..sarah".What have i done? i myself didn't remember. hahahahah. She told me it wasn't my fault that she raised her voice and cried after. She had something uncomfortable in her mind. It exploded when i annoyed her. of course my heart sank when she was mad, but that's that. nothing after.

At Abuya Hasanah Restaurant, we were talking bout how this weather made everybody's mad. Every person have their own stories. They all should do some exercise i guess. cause exercise can released those negative thoughts from our body. That's y people who's on diet by eating less without exercise is the person that u shouldn't touch or even poke. the outcome is somewhat scary. memang aku tujukan untuk seseorang pon. So lift up ur ass and shake ur booty people!

p/s: been looking at uro-nephro end round pictures. i photobombed almost all the pictures.
p/ss: my housemates told me that something's wrong with my ear. they called me deaf.

the only pic i have with flowers. credit to shikin rambli~
My face is covered though~ XD

.weight gain.

WOHOOO!!

I GAINED 2KILOs in 4DAYS!!

YAY ME!

T______________________T

Day 1: Israr's housewarming

Day 2: Extended Israr's housewarming

Day 3: Cairo Food Trip

Day 4: MTS Party

P/S: Heart-broken week 2.

P/SS: Happiness Coming Soon.

.housemates.

housemate's updating her blog. so i was thinking to do the same thing too while waiting for the oven to be heated up~ am making the simplest cheese cake in the world. macam tak jadi jek. took 15 minutes only. it's kinda weird cause it costed me 1hour to bake cheese cake before. well2. imma put its photo in here after it is baked. my housemate finished her puding jagung though.

the tittle is out of topic i must say. i'm not here to write about my housemates. they are nice bunch of people though they did getting on my nerves sometimes. well, i did that too to them. equals up everything~ XD.

Photos! Coming Up!!

No photo.. the cake look like shit

.definitely need a change.

i dun feel really well tonight. mungkin sebab perubahan cuaca yg dah banyak kali berubah? it was sunny yesterday but it got darker (felt like Malaysia's weather). Alternating between sunny and cloudy. I usually can get through this without getting sick but i've been sneezing multiple of time today plus stuffy nose and sore throat. Went for a jog just now and it was hella cold. Memang la tak macam winter but still.. it's freaking summer already. Lalat is freaking everywhere!

Exam is coming..but i dun see me studying. smart enough? wuuuuuu...need to organize my life properly. Everything just seem so messy. my room is..my table..my food intake..unwashed clothes..money.. who to blame?

ME!

Nah kek! Ni zaman rajin masak ni. Skarang memang tak ah.
Dengan pokainye. siap belobang poket.

P/S: Nothing is impossible. YOU can make it possible.

P/SS: wahai kamooo yg boncit! lupakan kisah lame. stat yg baru la baaii. that thing overshadowing u. tak kesa ah ko stat camano pon. caro apo skali pon. just let em go lorh. well, those things never happened to me and i'll never know how it feels but as a friend (yes! as a fren! even we're not close) i have this tiny idea in my mind that i must help u. i dunno where this tiny thingy came from though. bukan ko baca pon blog aku. sbb tu la kot aku tulis kat sini. spiritually and virtually helping u. tang mane spiritnye ak taktau. i still want u to b happy with whoeva, whateva, and wherever. ur choice~ *big smile*

.time.

Subuh prayer in Egypt is getting earlier. *yawn* Means that i have to stay up or else i may gonna miss it. UNINTENTIONALLY. it's 3.17AM right now and i yawned countless of time while finishing some of my works. *yawn*

April is a busy month for me i guess. i hardly can find time for me to study. time for myself. well..i may look like i'm lying but the truth is, i did had some time free but *yawn* i filled it with Subway Surfers, facebook, twitter n stuff. i do quite regret of throwing my precious time for those 'lagha' thingy but wat can i do. i got home, tired. need some refreshment = games and etc. study was definitely a no no. guilty. *yawn* guilty to my parents and mostly to myself really. Everytime. If i were to say i need something to boost up my motivation, that is actually me. i'm the one who need to catalyst myself. there wont any other thing can do it. the first step toward success is when u make a decision and u commit. without this step, u stuck at the same place forever.

Hmm.. everything will subside next two days. insyaAllah. i will have more free time by then. this surgery round is quite scary. have to start working on it slowly. round exam is just around the corner. n i heard internal medicine round is much scarier due to its enormous information. may Allah eases everything. Night.

p/s: might or might not be updating this blog depends on my sleepiness during my stay up. those yawning on this post are 100% true. i'm not making em up.

This would be one of my fav time of all. Volleyball.
Picture taken during Mansoura Open Volleyball Tournament 2012. 

.sarah.

i don't write much but if i did, it will be hella long. i know it's been awhile since i posted something in this blog. i was thinking of deleting it but it took sometime for me to think that i do have some memories here that i would like to keep for the rest of my life (maybe?).

2009, one or two months just after my SPM, i started this blog from scratch. For fun? well, it is not fun. A medium to channel my feeling of happiness, sadness, furious and etc. i guess nothing much happen in my life that i seldom update this thing. Not to tell the whole world how i feel or what i am doing right now, (we got facebook and twitter for that, aye?) nor to boast bout something that i have. i just thought it would be nice to have a blog and read em through when u got nothing to do. yeah i did that sometimes..i ain't no freak. diary is not my thang really. i had one and i don't know where it goes. no secrets to keep. i left it open all day long.

so, what makes me write today? any interesting things happen? well well. not really. quite frustrated of several news i heard today. but that's that. i must keep my mind positive. never had this kind of experience before. Allah made me went through this for reasons. And i did. though it hurts so much, it's a phase. A phase to make me stronger after. and i will. of course i will. i think it is a test for me of how much i think of Him when a small matter like this happened. i struggled. to Him we came and to Him we shall return.

A pounding heart,

Racing to nowhere,

Temperature rises,

And nobody cares.

Allah cares.

He always do.

and we always forget that.

From the Cliff of Moher, Galway, Ireland
.Winter Break '13.

I don't know how the picture turned out colorless though i din adjust the setting of my phone.

.Winter Break 2013.

Ireland, Scotland and United Kingdom! 

18 days

Awesome countries! Polite citizens!

So many things i did, so many things i ate!

So many that i am too lazy to write them all!

Yeah~

TTYL~

.2013.

A warm welcome from me dear 2013.
this new year's eve was da best! played volleyball for fun with others while wearing jeans and jacket. peerghh. da lama tak spike sedap-sedap sampai vibrate tgn sdiri! hoho!rugi sape2 tak gi tadi~ sibuk stadi kunun~ hahah! i don't know why do i have to be this passionate in volleyball but not in study. slowly, akan diubah perangai ini. Well now, to reminisce back my 2012's memories are sure a lot. mostly are in my previous post i guess. okay..not mostly but some of them. *terkejut bunyi bunga api* yeah..yeah..happy new year..bleergh..

WELCOME ABOARD 2013!

1) Another 10kg to loose!

2) Mumtaz Sem 7 and Sem 8!

3) UK, Ireland and Scotland winter trip!

4) Improve in playing piano!

5) 1st place in Volleyball Tournament

6) More activities in kitchen

7) Earn money during summer break!

8) RM1 per day (2LE/day)

9) Attachment

10) Jepun weeyh!

I fall asleep for a moment just now. tatau nak letak resolution ape. well here it is! let us hope for the best in 2013!!!

,New Year! yay! 2013!.

it's 20minutes more til midnight! must do this fast!
SO! Like any past years since i created this blog, let's see my 2012's resolution! hope to see alot of successes! *godek2 balik post yg lepas*

1) UK tour this summer break! FAIL! going this 2013!

2) Loss 10KG SUCCESS!

3) Win any places (for now) in Volleyball Tournament SUCCESS!! 3rd place!

4) Save money for UK trip FAIL!! food is more important!

5) Improve my cooking SUCCESS! kot..

6) Mumtaz for Sem5 n Sem 6 FAIL!!

7) New gadget from Apple product~ Hehe~ FAIL FAIL FAIL!!!

8) Learn how to crochet FAIL!! separuh jalan jaa..

9) Less addiction to Korean artists SUCCESS! sikit aje~

10) Learn Japanese FAIL! been too lazy..

More failure than success. well, i need to work hard! Let's meet tomorrow for my next year's resolution!

P/S: celebrated my new year's eve with playing my most favourite sport! volley! no regret maah! though exam is around da corner~

.Hi December.

Hi Hello~

it's December 2012! i've lived this long already. hahaha. just a quick update.. i'm in my clinical year right now. exhausting? not really. but i've been coming home later compare to the other 3 years of studying. don't have anything to complaint. this is life~ u just have to accept any changes and be a quick adapter. this year is the year i realize too many things that i lack in. seriously i wanna improve my arabic! this is my 4th year and all i could converse in arabic is when i wanna buy something in shop! "Da bikam?" "Kullu kam". Been dreaming to argue with arabs in arabic! u look freaking stupid when u argue with them with broken arabic. seriously. lack of vocab n grammar! well, they dont really care about grammar to begin with. bleerghh..

Volleyball Tournament's coming up this 13th December! yeah. i did say to one of my friend that i participate in this game for fun. well, i'm gonna kick their asses real hard!! jaga2 semua~ tgh tone body nihh~ kang tekejut ade Malik Noor versi pompuan main volley~ hahah! that's not going to happen.. you know it..

this is the beauty of having a blog that nobody comes! cause nobody will read this n get offended~ -kkeut-

.F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

what friends are really for? seriously i'm asking.

there are times when our hope falls down and they lift it up though they are not even sure.
there are times when we cry hard and they come to ease our heart.
there are also times when they hurt us. but who are we to be hurt when we sometimes hurt them too?

i don't have any best friends. but i have lots of friends throughout my life. almost all of them are made from school. primary school, secondary school, high school, university. but then when we graduated so do some of our friendships. we went to different schools..different universities. they say, a best friend is a friend when you share everything about how you feel..how you have been..who is your crush..secrets..a place for you to cry to..and count on to. when we go down the list, then my family is my bestfriend. they know everything about me and sometimes the things that i don't know myself. so, when my friends trying to hide who my crush was infront of my sis, i laughed to myself. of course she knew. i knew her crush too. even my whole family knew where he lived. far far away~ you can cut your friendship's bond but not your family's.

to be a comrade like Naruto is surely difficult. he risks his own life for his friends. he chases after Sasuke non-stop though he knows how Sasuke had become and tries to change him back. i know it is just some freakin anime but the moral value is good for me to take in. i admit that i did cry watching this anime~ haha. we hardly heard about a friend willing to sacrifice his/her life for a dear friend. it happened but not as much. am i willing to? well, it's too much to ask this but if something happen i do want to take care of them. i'm not a good friend myself.

 i don't meddle in their problem. scared much? nope. it is for them to solve. i can only be by their side and cheer on. but if they didn't want to help themselves nobody could. seriously nobody. it all comes from you! if you think u cant do it..you CAN'T do it. if you can..then you CAN. simple as that. u can't do this test, u expect you can pass the next one? think twice. don't go around and tell 'he/she made me like this'..'i'm not happy because of him/her'. you know what. YOU made yourselves like this. your not happy because of YOURSELF. change the way you think.

Haha! how did i drag about 'friends' to 'how to be happy'. well, i meant the last paragraph to you who read this. a book by Andrew Matthews about "follow your heart" really changed my vision of seeing things. have this friend telling me i won't finish the book. well have this friend ever seeing me reading a book? i like books and there's a reason why i like them cause i READ them~ novels especially..i don't dig medical books~ TEHEE

To my friends out there.. just because i said i don't have bestfriends, u don't go and feel awkward around me cause u've considered me as one. this is the way i am. i don't know what is bestfriend and i doubt any person will read this to the end cause it is so damn long.. =.="

Sekian

.since last update.

.Salam.

Hi peeps. It's been awhile since i updated my blog. Almost forgot that i actually own a blog. まま～ So, there were sure lots of things happened since my last update. It was Ramadhan, we already celebrated Eid and now i'm in Egypt working my ass out going through my clinical years. Can't get enough of the craziness of my family i came back here with a heavy heart.

Eid this year, of course it's not as exciting as when i was a child, i got to do my own dish!! yeah! haha~ well, it's not that i was lazy to cook or whatsoeva last Eids but you know how my mom was. She still think she's raising 'kids'. Will cause a chaos if she let us working in the kitchen. After some discussion with my older sis' THEN she let us cook for the guests. Not a heavy dish but i did mushroom soup and homemade garlic spread bread. DON'T doubt the taste!! It was DELICIOUS recognized by me!

The first Family Day ever! We went to Cherating, Pahang. I thought the beach was beautiful but i guess not. Kind of disappointed with the beach especially. It supposed to be clean. I see diapers everywhere. *sigh* Well, i planned a lot of games actually. For kids and adults. Some games got cut off from the plan by my sis. Time restrained, she said. I didn't really care cause we had so much fun at the beach. Funny thing was, the balloons filled with water were not bursting! Supposed they will get us wet, we got pain instead. Haha! Still, we keep on shooting them to our family members!

The Red Warrior! i was freaking excited when i met them! My friends weren't cause the are not from Kelantan. You know how much Kelantanese obsessed with their football team! It was at KLIA that i met them. First, i spotted Khairul Fahmi siting with his friend while listening to Oppa Gangnam Style quite loud. I 100% sure it was him n i turned back at walked pass him to tell my family bout him. At the the international boarding gate, i waited for my friends to gather so that we could go to our gate together. The TRW team went down the escalator and we (my family and other strangers) were cheering like crazy. Afiq Azmi went later actually. He's not one of TRW's player, a loan player but he's so handsome that i got excited some more! haha! my sis called him and when he turned back, my sis ducked in a shock and left me hanging don't know what to do. I just stared blankly at the roof. Then, my mom called him. Now i waved at him and said "Goodluck, Afiq!" He waved back and said thanks! it made my day~ When my friends gathered, we went to the gate and the police(?) there said that we will ride the same plane as them! My heart got flowery. Other thing happened before we rode the plane and on the plane itself. i just keep it to my heart~  Some are disturbing, really~ Hee

P/S: every event, i have soo much things to say. but this post will get too long and u will get tired of reading~ Till we meet again. i don't know when. HAHA!

.Ramadhan.

ku mengharapkan ramadhan...kali ini penuh makna

i do feel different about this year fasting month. and to write the reasons bout it will make me sound boastful. so i'll just keep it deep in my heart. i think those who do nothing or do the same like any other month except hunger and thirst are unfortunate. this is the month where u can multiple ur ibadah cause this is the month where u get multiple of pahala. how generous our God is. i'm not saying this because i am all perfect or whatsoever. i am, too, sometimes playing around in front of computer and listen to some musics. watch tv programs n sleep. but here i am to remind you even a single person who read this that it is not too late. we have less than 10 days left and why not we go to taraweeh and read al-quran. chase lailatul qadar people! stop wasting time!

p/s Welcome to 60's!! alhamdulillah~ let's aim for 50's now shall we? (u have no idea what it is? then, dont ask cause i dun intend to tell ya)